What a long, strange month its been. Today marks exactly 1 month since I first went into the hospital with seizures. It is again, by twist of fate, Friday the 13th, and I find myself contemplating the future...or at least the next week.
On July 13, 2007, I had the Lap-Band procedure done. I started a blog back then to keep up with my moods and to use it as a food diary to help me plan and keep track of my own nutrition. It was hard and frustrating. To date, I have only lost 45 pounds and have suffered nausea, vomiting and general malaise. It might have been easier and more encouraging if the weight had come off more quickly but I became more and more frustrated.
As a result of my hospitalization, we found that the band has slipped further down my stomach and is compressing the Vagus nerve, which in itself is causing more nausea and vomiting. Surgery will be required to either remove or reposition the band. And, as much as I dislike the idea of having surgery again and spending even more time out of work, I am contemplating something more serious.
My initial problem with the RNY gastric bypass procedure is that I was afraid of having my intestines rerouted. If I had been fully aware of just how many times I'd be stuck with a long needle to access the port on my band, I might have changed my mind. So after much finangling with the doctors office and insurance company, I got the go ahead this morning to proceed with the surgery.
I won't be shy about it. I'm scared. I'm scared of having surgery again, I'm scared of the pain, I'm scared of the new diet. I'm scared it won't work. I'm scared I'll fail again.
Yes, I did have SOME success with the band. All in all, I lost 45 pounds, which really isn't anything to scoff at. But, what if this still doesn't work? I want it too, and I'm going to work hard at it, but the what-ifs are eating me up inside.
The goal of this blog is really three part. First, I want to use it as a diary of food intake, general health and exercise plans. I hope that by actually writing it down, I'll feel more accountable for it. Secondly, I want to try to explain the psychological progress this situation takes a patient through. Having gone through one bariatric surgery already, I've got a fair idea of what I'm in for. Hopefully it'll be easier this time around, but if not, this blog is my shoulder to cry on. Finally, I'm hoping to make at least glimmers of it witty and entertaining. If you feel like reading, I invite you in, but I assure you, there are far better blogs to read for entertainment value. I post these blogs with a disclaimer: I am not always politically correct. There'll be times I say something that might offend someone. If you're easily offended...don't read.
There. Now I've covered my butt. If you feel like continuing the journey with me...well...
Lets rock.
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