Last Supper

Weight: 285
Blood Sugar: 93
Breakfast: Atkins Advantage - Strawberry
Dinner: Spaghettios

Its approximately 12 hours until I have to be at the hospital. I'm scared. I've been distracted all weekend by friends and gaming. It has been a pleasant weekend, but now, as the sun has set, I find that my old life ends tonight...and my new life begins tomorrow.

As...inspiring as the phrase sounds, it really captures the frame of mind I am in. Im paranoid. Im scared, still, that something bad will happen. Im sure all the worries will be all for nothing...but...its hard not to worry. Its hard to tell myself it'll all be okay when I'm eaten up with panic inside. I'll keep praying though. Its all I can do.

I should have gone to church today. Maybe it would make me feel better about all this.

Despite my state of unbridled panic about the surgery, I have proceeded with preparations as I was required to do. Part of it consisted of a mostly liquid diet today, followed by a huge frosted mug of lemon lime flavored magnesium citrate. It is a "very powerful laxitive" that is "flavored best when cold". The stuff tasted terrible, but I chugged it down like I was supposed to.

But, for my last meal...my Last Supper... I chose a most luxurious meal, and savored every bite...I dont know when I can eat it again, if evor. I enjoyed one last bowl of...

Spaghettios.

Tomorrow it'll be jello, pudding and broths. But tonight, it was spaghettios, with meat balls.

There is a skinny girl inside me, dying to get out. Thus ends my former life.